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學佛人應該怎樣處理與長輩之間的關係

女聽眾:孝順父母、尊重長輩是我們中華民族的傳統美德,這些道理很多師兄都懂,只是在生活中往往很難做到與長輩和睦相處。請師父慈悲開示一下,學佛人應該怎樣處理與長輩之間的關係?

台長答:首先你要視眾生為可憐人,要經常想到爸爸媽媽把你從小養大不容易,爸爸媽媽沒有修,他們也有劣根性。有的父母沒文化,有的父母有很多劣根性,脾氣不好,所以孩子看了,的確是有點討厭。但是從慈悲心的角度來講,從孝道來講,不管父母有什麼缺點,我們要學會包容,因為畢竟是我們的父母,教育過我們,培養過我們,養育過我們。所以作為學佛人要有慈悲心,要可憐他們。你恨他們的時候想想看,他們活得長還是你活得長?等到過幾年他們走了你也會很難過。擁有這種心,你慢慢就會懂得人生無常。他們很可憐,他們到了晚年,快要走了,還不知道什麼叫佛法,還不知道怎麼叫修心,而你年紀輕輕已經懂得修心了。你一個修心的菩薩為什麼去跟那些即將離開這個世界,而且都沒有聞到佛法、沒有福氣的人斤斤計較,還去跟他們鬧呢?是不是你境界太差了?好了。(是) 師父這麼一講,明白了嗎? (明白了,感恩師父!)

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How should we manage relationships with elders as Buddhist practitioners?

Caller: Filial piety, paying respect towards elders is a traditional virtue of the Chinese. Many Buddhist friends know about these morals. However, it is hard to exercise a harmonious relationship with elders in real life. May Master Lu teach us how Buddhist practitioners should manage their relationships with elders? 

Master Lu: First of all, you should have pity on sentient beings, and always contemplate how hard it was for your parents to have raised you since you were a child. Parents do have some ingrained bad habits as they still haven’t started to cultivate. Some parents are not well-educated, some have many ingrained bad habits, and some have bad tempers. So, when a child sees that, it really is quite unfavourable.

However, viewing this with compassion, and from the perspective of filial piety, no matter what shortcomings parents may have, we must learn to tolerate and accept. After all, they are our parents; they have educated us, nurtured us and raised us. Therefore, as Buddhist practitioners, we must have compassion, we must take pity on them. Just think about this when you feel hate towards them: who would live longer, you or they? If they passed away in the next couple of years, you would be sad. When you feel in this way in your heart, you will gradually comprehend the idea of impermanence. They are pathetic. They have reached their later years in life and do not have much time left, but still they do not know what Buddhism is, and they still do not know what it is to be spiritually cultivated. You, however, have already learned at a young age how to cultivate spiritually. Why would you, as a Bodhisattva, who cultivates spiritually, be bothered by those who will soon be leaving this world, who have not heard of Buddhism, who are with little blessing? And you still quarrel with them? Isn’t then your level of spiritual cultivation too low? 

Caller: Right.

Master Lu:  OK. With me saying this, do you understand? 

Caller: Yes, gratitude to Master Lu.

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